


Shiganshina

by orphan_account



Series: RBY [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen, obviously, tagged it as reibert bc they're blatantly in love, the bertholdt & ymir is platonic, there's not really any romance in this but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 22:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13063365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “The world has never done anything but turn its back on you,” Bertholdt muttered. “And you’re still like this. I don’t understand.”Ymir chuckled. "You don't have to."





	Shiganshina

**Author's Note:**

> idk how to make titles
> 
> oh look more rby. this takes place before the first work in this series but it doesn't matter they're both completely standalone
> 
> also an origin story for that sexy trenchcoat bertholdt wears in that one panel

Ymir was shivering so violently that Bertholdt could hear her teeth chattering from where he sat a short distance away. He sighed, pulling his sweater over his head, leaving him in the white button-up he’d been wearing beneath it. “Here,” he offered softly. He felt that she needed it more than he did, considering the fact that the sleeve and pant leg on her right side were still missing from when her limbs had been torn off not twenty-four hours ago. She sat up and nearly snatched it out of his hands. It was enormous on her smaller frame.

“Wow. This is sweltering,” she said, pulling the long sleeves up over her hands. She reached out and cupped one of her hands around Bertholdt’s neck invasively, and he cringed away from the ice-cold touch. “It can’t be normal for your body temperature to be that high.”

Bertholdt shrugged. “It’s… not,” he said, wrapping his arms around his knees. “It’s not normal.” She hummed in understanding.

“Titan thing?” she asked. He nodded, and she sighed. “Well, a fire would be nice, but I guess a human furnace is a close second.”

“…We can go down and look for firewood tomorrow night,” Bertholdt said, glancing over toward the ruins of Shiganshina. “The sun will be up soon. There shouldn’t be many titans around here, but…”

“We don’t wanna take the chance,” Ymir concluded with a nod. “Got it. You two should get some rest, we’ve all been through a lot today.”

Bertholdt glanced over and Reiner’s back. “Yeah. Thanks, Ymir.”

She hummed, before rolling back onto her side and facing away from him. Bertholdt glanced over at Reiner, who was sitting on the edge of the wall and looking out over the ruins of Shiganshina silently.

He made his way over to the other boy and sat beside him. “Are you cold?” he asked softly. Reiner didn’t answer him.

After a few beats, Reiner finally spoke. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. He grimaced, looking down at his hands. “I’m supposed to protect you, and I—”

“Reiner,” Bertholdt interrupted, his voice still quiet but firm. “You don’t have to apologize, it wasn’t your fault.”

Reiner scowled. “Are you kidding?” he snapped. He put his head in his hand. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. You almost died because… because I’m losing my mind…”

“Reiner, stop…”

“You almost died, and Marcel is dead, and who knows where the hell Annie is, and it is my fucking fault, all of it—”

He stopped abruptly, moving his hand to cover his mouth and taking deep, shaky breaths. Bertholdt watched him sadly. “I’m the one who should be sorry,” he said quietly. “I watched all of that happen and I didn’t do anything. I never do anything.” He reached over and grabbed Reiner’s hand, pulling it away from his face. “But none of that matters now. We’re here and we’re alive, and we have to keep going. We have to keep going so we can go home.”

Reiner stared at him for a few beats, before his expression hardened and he squeezed Bertholdt’s hand. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” he said. He turned back to the city they destroyed, his expression determined. “No stopping now until we win.”

Bertholdt smiled softly. “Are you cold?” he asked again. Reiner shrugged, and Bertholdt wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Reiner sighed and leaned against him.

“I’m sorry about Ymir,” he said, and Bertholdt’s heart clenched.

“Yeah,” he replied, glancing over at her sleeping form wrapped in his large sweater. “I’m sorry too.”

—

“Wow,” Ymir said, watching the sun set fully in the sky through the massive hole in the wall in front of her. “So you really did that, huh.”

Bertholdt tried not to let his mind wander back to that day when he was 11 years old, looking up from the other side of that same wall. It had seemed much bigger, then. “Yeah. I really did,” he said softly.

“C’mon, you two,” Reiner called from where he was already making his way into the town. Bertholdt took one more glance at the wall before turning and following behind.

Their footsteps echoed as they walked down the streets of the silent, empty city. Bertholdt liked the quiet, it made it easier to forget that this was the same place he had once plunged into utter chaos.

Reiner stopped suddenly in front of one of the bigger houses, one that notably didn’t seem to have taken any damage from the wall breach. He tugged on the door handle briefly, before aiming a kick at the hinges and breaking it down.

“Go check inside and see if there’s anything useful,” Reiner instructed. “I’ll go around back and see if there’s any firewood.”

Bertholdt hesitated before stepping into the dark house. Ymir clicked on one of the oil lamps hanging on the wall, and light flooded the space they had entered. The home still looked lived in, like the owner had just stepped out and would be back any moment. The chairs were pulled out, the beds were unmade, and a few of the cabinets were open. The only indicator that it had been long abandoned was the heavy layer of dust covering everything.

Ymir walked into the kitchen and immediately started rifling through the cabinets. “Guess we should grab some canned food or something, huh? Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I ate anything,” she said thoughtfully. “Hey, grab those blankets off the beds. It’s cold as hell out there.”

Bertholdt walked toward one of the beds, feeling slightly nauseous. His hands shook as he reached down and grabbed the photograph sitting on the bedside table. After wiping away some of the grime with his thumb, he could make out what looked to be a family of four. A man, a woman, and two little girls. One of them looked like they might have been the same age he was, when he…

He swallowed thickly, putting the picture down.

“Hey, Bertl, there’s wood back there, but I’ll need your help carrying some of it,” Reiner said, joining them inside. He held up what looked like a beige, hooded trenchcoat. “There were some things hanging out on the clothesline, thought this might fit you. It’ll be getting cold soon.”

Bertholdt stared at the jacket with wide eyes. “No, I…” he said, nearly cringing away as Reiner stared at him in confusion. “Reiner, I can’t.”

Reiner raised an eyebrow. “What? Why?” he asked. Bertholdt grimaced.

“…I probably killed the man who that belonged to,” he said, his voice cracking. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. “And… and his wife… and his two daughters, they’re all probably dead, because of me. All because of me.”

“Hey,” Reiner said firmly, taking a step toward Bertholdt and giving him a dark, serious look. “Stop it, Bertholdt. You know why we had to do what we did.”

It took Bertholdt a moment to realize that he was almost hyperventilating, and he closed his eyes and attempted to calm himself down. “Reiner…”

“No,” Reiner said, grabbing his shoulders. “We accomplished something. We found Eren. And if you die of hypothermia before we capture him and take him home, then it will have all been for nothing. Understand?”

Bertholdt nodded, opening his eyes and holding Reiner’s intense gaze. “Yes,” he whispered. He was right, of course. The only way to end all of the suffering they’d caused was to finish what they’d started.

Reiner handed him the coat. Bertholdt wordlessly took it and slid it on. It fit perfectly.

Reiner gave Bertholdt a soft smile and clapped him on the shoulder. “Looks good on you,” he said, and Bertholdt flushed.

“Hm, you know what?” Ymir said, tapping her chin as she observed another family portrait on the wall. “I remember these people, from that day the wall fell. I was trying to blend in with the other refugees on the boat to Wall Rose, and I stole one of the girls’ hats to cover up the titan marks on my face.”

Bertholdt stared at her, and continued to do so long after she became bored with the topic and went back to rifling through the cupboards. It was one thing for her to save him after everything he’d done, but now here she was, actively trying to ease his guilt. He would never understand her.

“Oh, hey, check it out,” Reiner said, lifting a rifle off of where it was hanging on the wall. He sent Bertholdt a grin. “Ymir, you wanna see something cool?”

—

Bertholdt lay flat on his stomach, resting the rifle on the crate in front of him as he looked through the sight carefully. Ymir flopped down beside him excitedly. “Wow, can you really see them that far?” she asked, referring to the cans they had set up a short distance away. They’d hung a lantern up near them, but they were still difficult to pinpoint in the dark.

“Mm,” Bertholdt replied, not losing his focus as he clicked the safety off. It’d been so long since he’d done this. They’d had the occasional marksman training in the corps, but he’d always had to ease up on his skills so no one became suspicious.

“Ready?” Reiner asked kneeling beside Bertholdt with a grin. Bertholdt nodded, taking in the scene one more time before Reiner wrapped a piece of cloth around his eyes.

Ymir cackled. “There’s no way,” she said. Bertholdt’s fingers tightened on the trigger.

“Don’t underestimate him,” Reiner snapped. “He’s amazing.” Bertholdt tried to ignore his face warming as he took a deep breath and pulled the trigger.

The resounding _clang_ echoed in the empty, quiet air around them, and Bertholdt grinned as he heard Ymir let out a whoosh of breath beside him. He adjusted his aim slightly, before firing again. Another _clang_.

Reiner and Ymir went completely silent as he fired three more times, and each time listened as his bullets hit their mark. After the last shot, he pulled off his blindfold and quirked an eyebrow at Ymir. She let out a laugh of disbelief.

“Holy shit, Hoover,” she said. Bertholdt sat up, unable to keep the grin off his face. “Did they teach all the warriors to shoot like that, or are you just some kind of goddamn sharpshooting prodigy?”

“It’s just him,” Reiner piped up, and Bertholdt thought he could hear a bit of pride in his voice. “He could shoot that well when he was six years old. No one else could even come close.”

Bertholdt blushed as Ymir beamed at him. “Damn. No offense, but you always seemed like a bronze medal kind of guy to me,” she said. Reiner scoffed.

“Are you kidding? You think they give the Colossal Titan to just anyone?” he asked defensively.

“A-alright, that’s enough,” Bertholdt said in embarrassment. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yeah, whatever. Can you teach me?” she asked excitedly. Bertholdt glanced at Reiner, who shrugged.

“Uh, okay. Sure.”

He handed her the gun and laid back down next to her, helping her adjust her grip and position as Reiner went to set the cans back up. “Give it a try,” he said after he felt confident that she was well-adjusted. She nodded and squeezed the trigger, missing the nearest can by a large margin.

She grimaced. “Dammit,” she muttered. “I was never any good at this in cadet training either.”

“It’s okay,” he said gently, adjusting her hands again. “You have to focus on keeping everything but your finger completely still. But don’t be too stiff, you have to breathe. Exhale right as you’re firing.”

He glanced over at Reiner, who had since sat down beside him. He was looking at Bertholdt warmly, and Bertholdt gave him a small smile. He wondered if Reiner was thinking back to the times they were kids, when Bertholdt helped him practice his shooting time and time again when he got discouraged. Bertholdt definitely was.

“Okay, okay. I got it this time,” Ymir said, lining up her sights again. She squeezed the trigger, and this time it was followed by a resounding _clang_.

Bertholdt grinned at her. “Good job,” he said. She whooped loudly, throwing her arm over his shoulder.

“I did it!” she said excitedly. Even Reiner was smiling widely. “Ha, not too bad, huh? Maybe with these skills Marley’ll think twice before feeding me to one of their warriors.”

That killed the mood instantly. “ _Ymir_ ,” Bertholdt said in disbelief.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” she said with a chuckle. “I’d rather die than fight for them anyway. Uh, no offense.”

Bertholdt was actually very, very offended, but Ymir pushed herself up onto her feet before the conversation could continue. He glanced at Reiner, but he was looking at his feet with a troubled expression. “Well, that was fun, but I’m starving,” she said offhandedly. “Let’s get a move on, shall we?”

—

Ymir happily wiggled her bare fingers and toes in front of the fire they’d made, pulling the thick wool blanket more tightly around herself. “Now we’re living large,” she said with a chuckle. The empty bowl of canned corn Reiner had made over the fire sat beside her. “Alright, so, what now?”

Reiner and Bertholdt exchanged a glance. “We wait for Zeke to find us,” Reiner said. “And he’ll decide from there.”

Ymir raised an eyebrow. “Zeke? Ah,” she said, her face suddenly hardening with realization. “He’s that monkey, isn’t he? The one who turned Connie’s parents into titans.”

Reiner grimaced and looked down at his hands. “Yeah,” he said.

“Ymir,” Bertholdt suddenly spoke up. “Once he comes… there’s no going back. Y-you still have time to—”

“Bertl,” Ymir cut him off sharply. “I already told you I’m not running. Get over it.”

Bertholdt grimaced. “But—”

“Let me ask you something,” she interrupted again. “What would happen to you if Marley found out you lost not just one, but _two_ of their warriors?”

“Why do you care?!” Bertholdt asked, raising his voice. “Why should it matter to you what happens to us? You would rather be eaten alive than go back to be with Christa?”

“ _Bertholdt_ ,” Reiner said in surprise, his eyes wide. Ymir laughed once, but it wasn’t a happy sound.

“Of course not,” she said darkly. “But I would never have even met her if I hadn’t eaten your friend, right? I’m grateful… for the time I got to spend with her.”

Her voice cracked a bit at the end, and she grimaced before looking away. Bertholdt sighed and put his face in his hands.

“The world has never done anything but turn its back on you,” he muttered. “And you’re still like this. I don’t understand.”

Ymir chuckled. “You don’t have to,” she said, reaching her arms up and stretching. The sun was beginning to rise, and it illuminated her face in bright pink and orange colors. “Well, I’m heading in for the night. Er, day,” she said, standing and making her way toward one of the two tents they’d managed to scavenge from Shiganshina.

“Alright. Sleep well,” Reiner said offhandedly, while Bertholdt pulled his legs up to his chest and sulked quietly.

Ymir stuck her head out of the flap and smirked at them. “No sneaking into my tent, okay?” she said. “Especially you, Reiner. I know how much of a ladies man you are.” She cackled as Reiner chucked the empty can of corn at her.

The two sat in comfortable silence for a while as Reiner poked at the fire distractedly. “You okay?” he finally asked, nudging Bertholdt softly with his shoulder.

“No,” Bertholdt said flatly. “I feel so awful that I don’t even know what to do anymore.”

Reiner was quiet for a few beats. “That’s what makes us warriors,” he said softly. Bertholdt just looked at him sadly, and didn’t respond to that.

He laid his head on Reiner’s shoulder. “I miss home,” he said softly. It wasn’t often that he allowed himself to become melancholy like this, since he knew it wouldn’t solve anything. But he was just so tired. Reiner sighed and squeezed his shoulder.

“We’re almost there,” he said. “Hang on a little bit longer for me.”

And for Reiner, he would. Even if that was all he was still fighting for.

**Author's Note:**

> feel like pure shit just want them back


End file.
